hetalia crack story
by kittyxuchiha11
Summary: a crack story me and my friend wrote when we were bored, not that good just makes ya lol XD  please read and review rated T cause its not that bad XD


Crack story of doom~

One day Poland was sitting on a bench, painting his nails neon pink. Then Sealand skipped along wearing a pink skirt. He sat next to Poland then stole his nail polish. He skipped away with it, noming some awesome ice cream of dooooom.

Poland grabbed Lithuania and threw him at Sealand. Sealand fell over into a puddle and began to cry rainbows. Lithuania blankly stared at the child in disturbance. Poland strutted over to Sealand and took his nail varnish back then bitch slapped Sealand and dragged Lithuania away.

Poland epically dragged Lithuania to his house then made him bake cookies. After the awesome cookies were done they ate them. Poland decided to stick the cookies down Lithuania's pants. Lithuania awesomely jizzed in his pants then made badass awesome amour to Poland.

Latvia walked into his brothers house and stared at them, twitching.

"my dear lord what are you two doing?"

They were just about to reply back but Russia was standing behind Latvia and was turned on by what Lithuania and Poland were doing.

"Latvia~ do you want to do that~?"

Latvia froze on the spot and got hard. Russia dragged Latvia away to the bedroom, throwing Lithuania's jizz cookies everywhere. France came along and ate the jizz cookies with a perverted face knowing cum was on them. He watched Poland and Lithuania do it from the corner of the wall while hungay (yes hungay) recorded the shota in the bedroom. She sat right next to them while they continued.

Suddenly s who /s Canada poofed onto France's head. France super huggled Canada.

"ah bonjour mon cher, ca va?"

France asked holding Canada close to him.

"b-bonjour Francis, sa va bien merci"

The Canadian answered. Suddenly France stripped the younger blond and made sweet sweet amour to him. Meanwhile England was eating magical scones of awesomeness when a flying mint bunny came along.

"FLYING MINT BUNNY~"

England screamed being glomped by the flying mint bunny. Suddenly America flew into the room and tackled the flying mint bunny.

"HES MINE BITCH!"

America angry shouted then killed the flying mint bunny with some bloody peanuts. England went all sparkle eyed and clung to America like the gay faggot he is.

America pimped slapped England and said

"hey you lil hoe!, those eyes wont work on me"

England glared at America. America lifted England up and hugged him saying those were the eyes he fell for he first saw him. he then threw him out the window and flew out the window and caught him then he flew away to Nederland. England started speaking to Tinkerbelle then America stabbed her with a needle.

"don't you dare flirt with mah betch!"

England held Tinkerbelle in his hands and began to sob.

"why did you have to die so young even though you're over 2 million years old!"

America began to eat a burger.

America suddenly threw the burger away in disgust.

"EWW ITS BEEN INFECTED BY IGGY GERMS!"

"oi you bloody git, shut up or your getting the bloody scones~"

America got out his gun that was loaded with peanuts and shot a pedo bear that was hiding up a tree, he then huggled England. America then got out and awesome pie and smashed it in England's face.

England growled at him

"what the bloody hell! that's it!"

England grabbed a bag of scones and a rifle to put the scones in and began to fire them at America.

"OH SH-!"

America jumped into the bushes and grabbed a bag of burgers and threw them at England. England grew closer because the burgers had no affect on him. America jumped onto England and began to make out with him. He flailed at first but then calmed down until America dropped his pants and put a bomb England's "trousers".

"BOMBS AWAY"

"THE HELL?"

England's "trousers" exploded into millions of tiny pieces and America ripped England's underwear off and trusted into England quickly. England got a browner from this so America began to lick England's eyebrows making the browner harder.

Meanwhile Japan was giving Greece a Japanese lesson.

"now please read out what's on the page Greece-san"

"okay, yuri…yaoi…hentai…anta boka suru"

Japan blushed deeply and flailed. Greece awesomely glomped Japan and hugged him. Greece looked into japans' eyes lovingly. Japan looked back into Greece's eyes, a dazed look on his face.

"hey Japan do you have any banada milk?"

"…why yes, yes I do…Korea left some the other week…but im not sure its flavoured m-"

Greece drank some if the "milk" and looked over at Japan.

"it tastes like cum…"

"how do you know that?"

Japan flailed about and a book fell out of his long sleeves. Greece went to lift it before Japan noticed it had fallen out.

"giripan doujinshi .W.I.P."

Japan looked over to him his face bright red, he tried to grab it of him. Greece held it above his head and then began to read the book. His nose began to bleed…

As Greece did those things to Japan, Germany ate some magical pancakes. Italy awesomely burst into the room wearing a French maid outfit"

"doitsu doitsu look what France nii-chan gave me~"

Italy shouted, glomping Germany.

Germany awesomely pinned to Italy to the table then smiled.

"do you like waffles?"

Germany sang, Italy joined in.

"yeah I like waffles~"

Italy sang.

"do you like pancakes?"

"only if there not British~"

Suddenly Germany shoved a pancake in Italy's mouth. Italy awesomely ate the pancakes then sexily licked his lips in a badass way. Germany made out with Italy then blew up Italy's pasta factory in the sky. Italy epically ran out side and started dancing.

"its raining pasta!, hallelujah its raining pasta~"

Italy sang striping. Germany awesomely glomped Italy and epically sexed him up. Then Prussia epically poofed next to Germany and Italy.

"kesesesesese finally bruder, your getting laid"

The awesome one said then exploded~


End file.
